How to be a good host

If you are looking to host a round of golf, whether something purely casual or work related, take some time to get to know your guests ahead of time. If you are assembling a foursome for a charity event, you need not worry so much about the players ability. These kinds of events, often played in scramble format, are about fun and fundraising. They are a great opportunity for work-related ice-breaking. Still understand how such an event can turn awkward. The junior-level guy from accounting, who happens to be a single-digit handicap, may show up your boss, who has never broken 100. The enjoyment of a round of golf is more about the mix of personalities – not handicaps – in the group. Knowing your guests can make all the difference.

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  Be sure to tell your guests about the nature of the round. Is it a scramble or charity round vs. play your own ball event. Let them know when and how the round will start (is it a shot gun, a tee time, or just a “play when you are ready” day.)
• In addition to providing guests the details (including directions, where best to partk, and expected arrival time), be sure to check on things like dress code. Some clubs have awkward dress code requirements including things like sportcoats in the mens locker room, no denim, shorts that are too long or skirts that are too short. Better to be clear on this (and make a joke about it) than to put yourself or your guest in an awkward position.
• If the round is something with a work angle, don't feel pressure to fill out a foursome. Depending on the rules of where you are playing, you may find it better to play as a threesome, as the pace tends to move along better, and can accommodate the occasional work or networking banter. Even if you have to (quietly) pay for a foursome even though there are only three (or even two) of you, it may create a more relaxed environment absent a random distraction.
• Bear in mind that the golf course, especially private clubs, is often seen as a respite from business, not a place for its conduct. Golf is a game that tends to reveal personality and character. Whether you are evaluating a business partner, contractor, client or future in-law, a round of golf is a great way of getting to know someone. However, jumping right into whatever background business you may have can seem rude. Be patient, let your guest lead the conversation.
• Along those lines, be aware of pace of play. Golf provides ample opportunity for conversation, but you do not want to put your guest in the uncomfortable position of having to rush because you want to gab on every tee.
• If you are hosting someone at your home club, expect to pick up your guests' fees for the day. You may want to alert the staff ahead of time. Many clubs have guest locker facilities (or can make arrangements for such). Your club's staff may also have other ideas or opportunities to welcome your guests. While even at a private a club, a guest should expect to pay their own way in the pro shop, a generous host may offer to put any pro shop and other incidental expenses on their account. At some (very private) clubs that is even a necessity as they may not do outside sales. Especially if new to your own club, this is all the more reason to talk to staff before hand.
  If you are merely arranging a round at a public or resort course, be clear as to whether you intend to pick up the tab or asking your “guests” to share in the expenses.
• As the host, you should be flexible as to whether you walk or ride the course so that you can accommodate your guest(s). Let them choose whether to take a cart, caddie or carry their own bag. That said, especially at courses that have full-time professional caddies (very nice clubs and resorts) taking a caddie can be a special experience. Even a course with a younger cadre of caddies, it is a great experience and shows a support of the game to take a caddie. If for some reason, you or one of your guests have trouble walking the course, nothing is wrong with taking a cart and also having a forecaddie.
• Understand the course you may be playing. If there are long distances between greens and tees or it is very hilly, a cart may be best. Similarly if there is some event after the round, you may want a cart to keep you and your guests fresh. If you are concerned about pace of play, carts may offer you some advantage, but take a forecaddie if available, as the largest issue with pace of play often is dealing with lost balls. Again, this is also a case where playing as a threesome (or even a twosome) may be advisable over rounding out a foursome. Don't be afraid to talk to the pro shop and starter on this point when setting up the round (“I don't expect us to be setting any pace of play records out there. It may be best to leave us as a threesome (or twosome).”) And if it is a daily fee or resort course, offer to pay for the open spots in the foursome. Again, the extra money it may cost you may be well worth the return of a relaxed round.
• A good host will pick up tab at the halfway shack. If at a private club, it may be a good idea to arrange some food beforehand, but it may be preferable to have any kind of sit down meal after the round. This may be the better opportunity to talk work, and it also gives the chance to relax more (and not worry about getting to the first tee). That said, your guests may have other plans and have to rush off after the round. Plan accordingly, and be a gracious host.
• On the first tee, choose tees wisely, but do not insist that everyone must play from the same set of tees. You may have a range of golfers in your group. Your first job as a host is to make everyone comfortable. This is also where the benefit of a knowledgeable caddie comes in handy as they can guide your guests around a course.
• Absent a caddie, consider yardage books for your guests or measuring devices (often available for use at private clubs) to help your guests on an unfamiliar course. As the host, you should have some inside knowledge. Feel free to offer it on the tee (“OK this doglegs right, but you can't cut the corner”), but be brief and then let your guests play the hole as they want (i.e. don't be peppering them with tips throughout) unless they ask for help. If it is not your home course (a resort for example) read up on the course and familiarize yourself with it. Again, this is where even a forecaddie for your group is very helpful.
• As host, you should also be prepared to set up any match. However, keep the stakes minimal. The typical game to play is a Nassau and usually the high and low handicaps team up in a foursome. If there are just three of you, there are alternatives that involve creating three six-hole matches. Most golfers enjoy a simple side match for adding interest to a round. Keep the stakes minimal. It is about the game not the gambling. However if a guest seems reluctant, acquiesce (“Sure, let's just keep it fun here.”) and play on.
• As host, you should also be prepared to forego your own game in order to make sure others enjoy theirs. Again, try to know the people you are playing with. You might find yourself picking up or foregoing a search for a lost ball in order to keep pace of play moving. If a guest seems frustrated, you might need to crack a joke or give them a pat on the back (“That was a heck of a tee shot.”) to get them to relax.
• Similarly, your job will be to worry about pace of play. If you are worried you may be slipping on the course, be the one to initiate any conversation with a course ranger. Better they talk to you than one of your guests (“How are we doing out here?” or “I know we are a little behind. We had a hiccup back there, but I will get us caught back up.”). Ranger or not, don't be afraid to initiate a play-through with the group behind. While the halfway shack sometimes is a good opportunity (to the group behind “Guys we are going to take a break after nine. Feel free to go ahead of us on the tenth.”), often you might have to initiate this somewhere else. Be attentive and where you can, talk to the group behind (“I hope we aren't slowing you down. Next hole might be a good chance if you want to play through.”). Your pace in fact may be fine, but it is better that you, as the host, initiate that conversation rather than to let it spill over onto your guests. And if a group does play through, your guests should understand. Still making a joke can relieve any tension (“They will owe us a drink when we get in.” or “I don't know where they think they're going but I would rather have them in front of us than hitting behind us.”).
• The presence of on-course items like alcohol and cigars depends on the club, course and group. When in doubt, skip the bachelor-party type extras. The purpose of the day is golf, fun golf, but you don't have to turn it into a party. That said, especially in things like charity scrambles, an occasional beer or even cigar (so long as it does not offend members of the group) can be pleasing. Like any social circumstance, you have to play the situation by ear. However, a cigar on the course or beer cart is not a requisite to golf and at some courses, such things are not permitted.
• As host, you may have to direct your guests a bit. If it is their honor or they are away, feel free to offer that direction (“Great 4 back there, you're up.”). Within a foursome, you may find a player who, regardless of their golfing prowess, is not always best at etiquette or paying attention. The other members of the group will appreciate your keeping everyone on task (getting around the golf course).
• Golf is a game of honor. As host, you should keep score, but don't be an accountant. Try to keep track of the scores, but ask if you are unsure (“What did you have there?”). Some guests may prefer to just play for fun and not keep track of their shots. Let them. Be generous if someone picks up (“We'll give you a double bogey back there.”). You may have guests, especially beginners, who have a hard time keeping track of their own score. Don't fuss over it. If it becomes an issue in the group, intervene, but seek an opportunity to joke about it. As host, it is about everyone's enjoyment. If you happen to have one jerk in the group, everyone will appreciate your diplomacy even if they don't appreciate his or her game.
• On the 18th green it is customary to shake hands with members of the group and the caddies, and express gratitude for the day, camaraderie and game played. Be quick about it in case there are players waiting in the fairway behind you. It may be good to do such things off to the side of the green.
• Post round, as host, you should be prepared to settle up with your caddies although guests might offer to pick up that tab in exchange for the green fees. However, if they do, be sure they are familiar with the caddie rates. You may want to suggest they pick up the base rate and you will take care of the tip just to be sure the caddie is not accidentally shortchanged.
• In nearly all golf circles, it is customary to share a post round drink. While a full lunch or dinner is not necessary, if hosting, you should offer. If you are playing a resort or public course with limited or inappropriate facilities, scout out an offsite restaurant or bar ahead of time. The “19th hole” can be an important component to being a gracious host.
• Often after a round, guests will follow up with thanks and may even send some small token (a dozen golf balls for example). As host, the next day is good opportunity for you to follow up with your guests. This is where you can suggest next time playing at one of your guests' clubs or bring a business topic that surfaced during the day.